


Before He Cheats

by ChelseasDeadSmile



Series: Chelsea's One-Shots [23]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Darcy Lewis, Carrie Underwood Made Me Do It, Cheating Steve Rogers, Darcy Feels, Darcy Is Not One To Be Cheated On, Darcyland, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Revenge fic, Sharon-Bashing, Song Lyrics, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 03:25:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7960573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChelseasDeadSmile/pseuds/ChelseasDeadSmile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve should have thought twice before he crossed Darcy Lewis, because she always gets her revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before He Cheats

**Author's Note:**

> I suddenly had this idea out of the blue, and I wanted to write it down and share it with you guys ^ ^
> 
> Edit: I blame [Roseberrygirl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Roseberrygirl/pseuds/Roseberrygirl) for the modified ending. It was just too good to pass up x3.

She swings the Louisville slugger around as she walks down the street towards the Avengers’ favorite bar where they like to chill and hangout on the weekends when none of them have a mission or some other thing calling them away from the comfort of their lives.

Darcy is usually there with them as well, but, her invitation had recently been revoked since Steven Grant Rogers had decided that she wasn’t strong enough to mentally deal with all that comes through his life, well, she’ll show him just exactly how strong she is.

Blowing a bubble with her gum, she lets it pop before she takes it back into her mouth as she comes up to the unsuspecting motorcycle that was owned by one Captain America, who, she helped fix it up with.  It was a beautiful piece of machinery which shouldn’t be getting the brunt of her anger, but, she refuses to let it go to waste in the hands of a man who was cheating on her inside that very same bar she had no invitation into.

Right now, Sharon Carter is probably feeling up those abs that Darcy got to taste long before the blonde could even think with her female mind enough to consider Steve as an option for boyfriend material.  Right now, that bitch was probably slow dancing with him to Darcy’s favorite song by Norah Jones and it just added fuel to Darcy’s already pissed off attitude.

More likely than not, he was indulging the little lightweight to some fruity Margarita that had barely enough tequila to be called an actual alcoholic drink; barely sliding passed the “Virgin” that it should be considered as while Darcy takes the whiskey bottle that had been dangling from her left hand in order to up her need for a little liquid courage before she got to work on the motorcycle.

He could even be behind the little blonde CIA peashooter showing her how to shoot a combo on the pool table, but, what Darcy can’t see will make it easier to hurt him in a way he doesn’t expect her to do because, fuck all, Mama needs to express some fucking rage.

Leaning the baseball bat against the motorcycle, she first took out her copy of the motorcycle's key and scratched a dick into the paint job on the side of it.  Call her childish, but nothing is more humiliating than seeing a dick drawn **somewhere** on a person’s personal possessions by another person that wanted the ultimate style of childish revenge for being wronged.

Putting the key back into her back pocket, she took a page from Joker’s book, and got out a knife in order to do some carving of her own.  She, carefully, wrote her name into the seat of the motorcycle making sure that it’s legible, and could be read even if you didn’t wish to read it. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and she was going to show him just how scorned she was and felt by his betrayal.

Now came the fun part, oh, she’s waited to do this after she’d ticked off each of the other things she’s wanted to do to that poor, beautiful bike.  Now, she gets to wreck-it.

The first swing came with the shattering of the single headlight before the next one quickly followed hitting the gas meter on the small little dash that was on the front side of the motorcycle.  The third was like she was christening the bike to be ready for the afterlife in heaven that it deserved after all of these years that it had ran, broke, and been brought back to life once more...only to see a more gruesome end that it should have gotten.

Each and every dent that appeared upon the surface of the bike tempered a little of her rage, but, not much...well...not until the baby fell over though.  The people passing by her were too afraid to say anything as they scampered by her, and she loved how she was affecting them in any way that she could.

She wanted the baby to burn, but, she wasn’t willing to risk an Arson charge, so, she just let the gas go leaking out onto the concrete around the bike.  At least she didn’t have a lighter on her, though, the taser she planned to use on Steve could also do the trick as well, but, she’ll say again, Arson wasn’t such a good shoe to fit into.

After letting the gas leak out, she took her knife out once more in order to slice both of the tires.

Stepping back to examine her work, she felt giddy with revengeful joy as she looked upon her masterpiece.  Destruction a la Steve Rogers, and she couldn’t help the wicked smile that graced her face once she felt she could move onto step two of her plan.

When she walked into the bar, she swore she heard a cat dying which assaulted her sensitive and delicate (Yeah right) ears once she looked at who was on stage.  Why, it was none other than the blonde bitch herself trying to sing “Man! I Feel Like A Woman” by Shania Twain, and all Darcy wanted to shout was “Shut up!”, but, she couldn’t give the jig up just yet.

The dying cat stayed up on stage until the song ended, and that was Darcy’s que to get her Phase Two started.

Phase Two included dragging her Louisville slugger up on stage with her, and her commandeering the microphone from a nervous looking girl who Darcy just passed her whiskey to before climbing up on the stage.  

“Hello Saint O’Fallon’s Bar! Who thought that chick sounded like a dying cat? Or an enraged moose?” Darcy asked the patrons of the bar who all cheered at her raising their beers in salute to her.  “Now, as many of you know by now, the Avengers frequent this here fine establishment, and, they got the Owner of the bar to revoke my access.  Yeah, nice try, Steve, but I’m just such a doll, don’t ya think?” Darcy said looking right at the group in the back who were cringing and trying to find a solution to the problem.

The problem being Darcy.

“So, since that has happened, I have been granted a fifteen minute grace period while they are around to drink and be merry with you folks, but, I’m sad to say, I’m not here to be merry.  I’m here to get some sweet, old-fashioned revenge.  I’m here to sing the chorus to “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood, because it is just so...inspiring” Darcy told the bar before she queued up the chorus instruments and backup vocal part to the song.

Putting it up to an extra microphone, she pushed play, waited a few seconds, and then sang when the time came.

 _“I dug my key into the side_  
_Oh his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive_ __  
_Carved my name into his leather seats_ __  
_I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights_ __  
_I slashed a hole in all four tires_   
Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats”

She dropped her microphone as soon as the part was over, grabbed her phone and bat, and then proceeded to walk over to the man who jilted her in order to drop the key to his motorcycle into his beer.  She let just a hint of her satisfaction come out onto her face then, slowly, she turned away from him just to let it be known - nobody fucks with Darcy Lewis’ feelings and gets away with it.

Waiting outside in the shadow of the alley, she watched as Steve and the other Avengers came crowding out of the bar just to be shown the sight of Steve’s motorcycle in unrecognizable shambles with the Louisville slugger leaning up against the left handlebar that was bent inward.

As she was watching the flabbergasted expressions of the Avengers, a figure dressed in all black appeared out the shadows in order to wrap his arm around her beautifully full waist while he took in the scene before him, "Very well done, my girl.  A truly magnificent show of pure revenge upon the good Captain" he praised before bending in to nuzzle the side of her neck.  These past few days he's taught her everything she needed to know in order to get under the Captain's skin, and he was so proud in how she used her new skills to get back on the man that had caused her heart so much pain.

Now, she'll be in much better hand's than the ones that had strung her along.  Now, she was his.


End file.
